HOW TO CALL OR TEXT DADAZ

1. Get her number. Whether you want to call her or text her, you'll need her phone number. Ask her for it. Yourself. If she gives you her phone number, you know that she's at least a little interested. Besides, it can seem pretty creepy if you get her phone number from one of her friends or by doing an internet search. If she's got a major crush on you, these indirect methods might work, but why even go there? You're smoother than that.
2. Wait. Despite what you may have heard or read, there's no hard-and-fast rule governing how long to wait before calling her. If for one reason or another you've arranged to call her at a certain time, call her then--not earlier, but certainly not much later. Otherwise you don't want to seem too eager. Wait a couple days or so (3 days is traditional). Some people will advise waiting a week, but this can make you seem too disinterested, and the girl might not even remember who you are. In the end, you'll just have to judge this for yourself depending on your gut feeling and what you have going on in your own life.
3. Decide whether to call or send a text message. In the past, text messaging a girl for a date would have been unthinkable. Now, however, it's becoming surprisingly common. That doesn't mean you should do it, though.
   
   
   • Text messaging is a good shotgun approach to dating. If you don't really care whether you offend the girl or whether you hear from her, it may be a good choice. For example, if you got four other girls' numbers that night at the bar, you could just text message them all. If one texts you back or calls you, you'll know that she's interested (unless, of course, she texts something like, "ur a wimp. learn how to use the phone").
   • The older, or more old-fashioned, the girl, the less likely she'll be receptive to receiving a text message.
   • Calling her shows that you're confident or at least interested enough in her to face the possibility of rejection. If it's simply a matter of confidence, work on this. It won't get any easier unless you actually start calling girls.
   • If the girl seems very casual and receptive to texting--for example, if she sent or received a text while you were talking to her--a text message may be appropriate to ask what she's doing or if she's in the neighborhood so you can hang out. Of course, if she was texting the whole time you were talking to her, you probably also have good reason to fear rejection, so a text may be the way to go.
4. Think about what you're going to say. The phone call or text won't be your first impression. You already made that when you got her number, so don't worry that you won't say just the right thing. That said, think about what you want to say. Think about what you talked about (more importantly, what she talked about) when you met her--you were listening, weren't you--and think about what you want out of this call. You should have a reason for calling or texting her, such as asking her out on a date or, if not a date, at least asking her to join you for some activity or event. Think about it, but if you're calling you should not, under any circumstances, write out what you want to say and then read from your script.
5. Make sure you've got the right person. Once you've dialed her number, make sure you have her on the line. In the old days, a guy might have to go through a "gatekeeper" (her parents, her roommate, her boyfriend), to reach a girl. Now that just about everybody has a cell phone this isn't much of a problem, but remember that there's always a chance that the person who answers isn't the girl you want to talk to. Ask to speak to her, or simply say her name as a question to verify that you have her on the line. If you're texting her, keep in mind that you have no way of knowing who will actually see the text.
6. Introduce yourself. Whether you're calling or sending a text, you should immediately let her know who you are and where you met her or know her from.
7. Make some small talk. Ask how she's doing. If you can make some appropriate reference to the night you met her--i.e. "Did you get your term paper done?" or "Did you ever find your earring?"--that can break the ice. If texting, you may want to skip the small talk and get right to the invitation so that she'll actually have something "important" to reply to rather than having to waste her time on potentially endless texts.
8. State your purpose. Sometimes the small talk will just naturally develop into a conversation. If this happens, just roll with it and enjoy. When there's a pause, spring your question. If you're the old-fashioned type (or if she is) you might want to ask her to go to dinner and a movie this weekend. Alternately, you might just ask if she'd like to come to your party tonight or ask if she wants to get a cup of coffee.
9. Set up a plan. If she's interested, don't dilly-dally. Just get the basic information you need from her (when to pick her up, for example, or where to meet her), or give her the information she needs (i.e. where to meet you). Don't question whether she'll show up or press for any more information than you need, but if she has questions or wants to continue the conversation by all means indulge her. If she decides to pass on your invitation, be nice about it and ask if she'd like to meet up another time. Maybe she will, and maybe she won't. Be pushy or whiny, though, and you can be sure she won't.

Tips

• If you call and get her voicemail, should you leave a message? Before cell phones and caller ID, you could always avoid the uncomfortable message leaving if you wanted to. Now, though, there's a good chance she'll see that you called, so you might as well leave a message. Remember to leave your number, however, as there's always a chance she won't be able to see yours.
• These tips are geared toward calling or texting someone for the first time. If you've already spoken with the girl on the phone, you probably don't need this advice.
• While many may think text messaging is somewhat impersonal it is not a cowardly approach. Don't get brainwashed into that type of thinking. Text can be a good way to see if the other person, guy or girl is busy or not busy an wants to hang out. A phone call can accomplish the same thing; it just takes a little more time and can be intrusive of the other person's time.
• Relax and take a couple deep breaths before calling. You've got nothing to be nervous about.
• Asking a girl to join you for an activity you'll be doing anyway (going to a party or the basketball game, for example) implies less commitment for both of you than asking her on a romantic date.
• Keep in mind that text messages are limited in their ability to communicate nuances, especially subtle humor. There are ways around this, such as writing "lol," but just remember that the girl can't hear you or see your body language.

Warnings

• Don't text or call her too often or she may think you're stalking her. In fact, you might be stalking her. If you're really interested in her but she doesn't respond to a voicemail or text, maybe try to get in touch with her once more--try calling if you texted her the first time--but if she still doesn't respond, let it go.
• Get a text messaging plan or you will be too broke to do anything with her next month.
• if the unfortunate happens and you need to leave her/him, a word of warning, never EVER leave them by text. it seems really unfair and cruel, if you need to, try calling instead, or even better face to face!